Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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