marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
