Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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