I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
