i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
