Sry I called you an 8
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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