you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
