Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
