talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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