just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
