just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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