my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
