I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
