Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
