that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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