Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
