Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
