Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
