She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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