Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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