i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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