It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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