think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
