well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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