if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
