Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
