Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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