You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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