how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
