I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
