I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
