maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
