Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
