It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
