He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
