I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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