i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
