You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
