That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Damn victory sex feels great
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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