i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
