I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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