I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
