I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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