I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
