ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
