U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
