I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
