I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
