he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
