i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
