i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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