Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
