I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
