Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
