It's Friday. Sex?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
