erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
